Saying Good-bye to Fitness, and Coming Out of the Closet (again)

I originally intended on posting this idea on Facebook but once a couple of sentences started to break into multiple paragraphs, I realized it was worthy enough for a full on blog.

Whatever cosmic shift has happened in our Universe over the last year or so has taken a tremendous affect on me. I could feel the energy build up and fester inside me. It was almost as if anything I did that was not in line with myself began to become very, very painful.

Meaning, my love for personal training and teaching classes quickly began to dwindle. I had been feeling this shift happen for a couple of years but I was able to muster through the discomfort. What once gave me energy and purpose, was now feeling like a chore. And soon I was noticing that I was losing more energy and zest than what it was giving me.

This was when I decided to leave training full-time to pursue my own nutrition coaching business in the spring of 2012.

There were times during this transition where I would literally stand in the shower crying. It was as if I was going through a major break-up or if I had lost a close friend.

I knew that my time in fitness was coming to an end, and the tears were a mix of both sadness and fear. Sadness from the loss of a portion of my life that would no longer play a driving role; and fear from the unknowingness that laid ahead of me.

I wasn’t quite sure where this new path was going to take me, but I did know, with every fiber of my rectus femoris, that fitness was no longer my calling.

As I’ve stumbled my way through my career, from gym to gym, and certification to certification, I quickly began to experience the body on a deeper level.

Soon, the idea of meal timing started to trump lunge variations. Then endocrine issues took precedence over macronutrients. Books on emotional healing began to flood my Amazon wishlist, posts about chakras began to invade my blog, and before I knew it, I couldn’t give two shits about program design or interval training.

I had come out of the closet once already, and here I was feeling like I was coming out of another – the spiritual closet.

I kept my ideas to myself, afraid of what other people would think. I was scared of being labeled as “weird” or “out there”, loopy even. So, I held back.

However, the times when I did talk about these whacky ideas, I always received great feedback. And the more I posted, the more people responded.

And once I started to openly spread this information more frequently, the more comfortable I became, and the more confident I was in my decision to leave fitness. Soon I began to befriend other fitness peeps that encouraged and helped validate the pursuit of my ideas.

My first business coach, John Romaniello, who, despite my shaky self-confidence has always believed in me. Seeing his progress in the last several years and the impact he’s made on his community inspires me to continue to follow my passions.

Another notable influence is my friend Elliot Hulse. Whether or not he realizes it, one of our very first conversations was the spark that helped ignite my flame. For him I cannot pay back what he has given to me. So, Elliot – thank you.

And now with more fitness peeps taking an active interest in energy healing ideas, like my girl Liz DiAlto, and Jen Sinkler who always “likes” my crystal pictures on Instagram (thanks girl!).

Then there’s my buddy Rog Law, who has always shown a keen interest in my ideas, and someone who I now consider one of my closest friends. I love you, man!

I find it a bit ironic that the one thing that I am stepping away from is the one thing that has opened this door for me. For it was my time in fitness that led me to explore the body deeper, to meet friends like Elliot, John, Liz, Jen and Rog, all of which have helped give me permission to talk about my ideas.

So what is the point of all this? Well, I suppose I’m writing it more for myself than anything. A sort of self-declaration of independence. A chance to re-establish myself and point this blog and my business in a new, focused direction.

Meaning, you’re not going to find workouts, or exercise videos here anymore. I’ll leave that to the peeps above who do a much better job at that.

But what you are going to find here are ideas and resources to help you heal your body on a deeper level and things to help you explore your spirituality. So, get ready for a whole lot of chakra-love baby!

Besides, that’s the whole point of a blog, right? To talk about the things we want to talk about?

So now that I’ve gotten all of this off my mind. I’d LOVE to hear what you think about all this. Leave me a comment below of 1 thing you’d like to see me cover in regards to energy healing or spirituality.