Saying Good-bye to Fitness, and Coming Out of the Closet (again)

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2012I originally intended on posting this idea on Facebook but once a couple of sentences started to break into multiple paragraphs, I realized it was worthy enough for a full on blog.

Whatever cosmic shift has happened in our Universe over the last year or so has taken a tremendous affect on me. I could feel the energy build up and fester inside me. It was almost as if anything I did that was not in line with myself began to become very, very painful.

Meaning, my love for personal training and teaching classes quickly began to dwindle. I had been feeling this shift happen for a couple of years but I was able to muster through the discomfort.Β What once gave me energy and purpose, was now feeling like a chore. And soon I was noticing that I was losing more energy and zest than what it was giving me.

This was when I decided to leave training full-time to pursue my own nutrition coaching business in the spring of 2012.

There were times during this transition where I would literally stand in the shower crying. It was as if I was going through a major break-up or if I had lost a close friend.

I knew that my time in fitness was coming to an end, and the tears were a mix of both sadness and fear. Sadness from the loss of a portion of my life that would no longer play a driving role; and fear from the unknowingness that laid ahead of me.

I wasn’t quite sure where this new path was going to take me, but I did know, with every fiber of my rectus femoris, that fitness was no longer my calling.

As I’ve stumbled my way through my career, from gym to gym, and certification to certification, I quickly began to experience the body on a deeper level.

Soon, the idea of meal timing started to trump lunge variations. Then endocrine issues took precedence over macronutrients. Books on emotional healing began to flood my Amazon wishlist, posts about chakras began to invade my blog, and before I knew it, I couldn’t give two shits about program design or interval training.

I had come out of the closet once already, and here I was feeling like I was coming out of another – the spiritual closet.

I kept my ideas to myself, afraid of what other people would think. I was scared of being labeled as “weird” or “out there”, loopy even. So, I held back.

However, the times when I did talk about these whacky ideas, I always received great feedback. And the more I posted, the more people responded.

And once I started to openly spread this information more frequently, the more comfortable I became, and the more confident I was in my decision to leave fitness. Soon I began to befriend other fitness peeps that encouraged and helped validate the pursuit of my ideas.

My first business coach, John Romaniello, who, despite my shaky self-confidence has always believed in me. Seeing his progress in the last several years and the impact he’s made on his community inspires me to continue to follow my passions.

elliotAnother notable influence is my friend Elliot Hulse. Whether or not he realizes it, one of our very first conversations was the spark that helped ignite my flame. For him I cannot pay back what he has given to me. So, Elliot – thank you.

And now with more fitness peeps taking an active interest in energy healing ideas, like my girl Liz DiAlto, and Jen Sinkler who always “likes” my crystal pictures on Instagram (thanks girl!).

Then there’s my buddyΒ Rog Law, who has always shown a keen interest in my ideas, and someone who I now consider one of my closest friends. I love you, man!

I find it a bit ironic that the one thing that I am stepping away from is the one thing that has opened this door for me. For it was my time in fitness that led me to explore the body deeper, to meet friends like Elliot, John, Liz, Jen and Rog, all of which have helped give me permission to talk about my ideas.

So what is the point of all this? Well, I suppose I’m writing it more for myself than anything. A sort of self-declaration of independence.Β A chance to re-establish myself and point this blog and my business in a new, focused direction.

Meaning, you’re not going to find workouts, or exercise videos here anymore. I’ll leave that to the peeps above who do a much better job at that.

But what you are going to find here are ideas and resources to help you heal your body on a deeper level and things to help you explore your spirituality. So, get ready for a whole lot of chakra-love baby!

Besides, that’s the whole point of a blog, right? To talk about the things we want to talk about?

So now that I’ve gotten all of this off my mind. I’d LOVE to hear what you think about all this. Leave me a comment below of 1 thing you’d like to see me cover in regards to energy healing or spirituality.

19 Responses

  1. You’re an amazing woman, Sirena! It takes a lot of courage to not only follow your dreams, but admit that you need to focus on what you’re truly good at it. I’m looking forward to seeing where this leads you :).

  2. I’m always amazed at your honesty and candidness, Sirena! Great things to come on 2013, and it’s ALL well deserved. So happy to see you grow as a professional and as a human being. It’s awesome.

    1. Hi Tony! Thank you soooo much for your comment and support. It means more to me than what you may realize. You’ve been an incredible supporter.

      Hope to run into you at Panera soooooon! xo

  3. “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” – Helen Keller

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah! I love this, love you and love that you’re doing what makes you happiest. Super proud of you and glad to play a small supporting role in the awesome movie that is your life. Much <3!

  4. Ahhh!!! So proud, honored, happy, and excited to be part of this adventure/journey with you. Our Skype session with special guest appearance by Rog yesterday really made my day. Love all of this so much!

  5. I’m so happy for you that you are doing what makes you happy. Too often people stick to what makes and keeps them miserable but what they think is “safe”. It takes some time, self reflection and courage to do what makes you truly happy but the lessons learned and the joy that taking a leap of faith bring are tremendous and make life worth living and wonderful! I also have found my passion again and I haven’t felt so alive in years.

    1. Hi Shonata – thank you so much for your comment. It took me some time and a whole LOT of self reflection, even though I already knew the answer. Sometimes it takes feeling miserable to make a change. It would be much easier if we just trusted ourselves πŸ˜‰

      I’m happy to hear that you have found something you are passionate about. I’d love to hear more!

  6. Great post! I’m glad you are going the direction you feel like going. I started blogging recently too and all I can say is that it was a great experience so far, but I’ve also reached points where I was incredibly self-conscious about what I write because it may be too “woo-woo” or too “far out there”, or for any other reason people might think I’m weird. And particularly those posts have received great feedback as well. People seem to love weird, because most of them – or actually all of them – are weird themselves. πŸ˜‰ Some will love what you write and others won’t… I guess it’s just something we have to deal with. I just realized that the less you give a fuck what others think but instead express who you ARE, the more they’ll love it anyway.

    I appreciate you writing about this and can’t wait to read more of your spiritual posts! πŸ™‚

    Much love! x

    1. Hi Gabriela,

      Thank you for your comment. It’s funny that the posts I felt so self-conscious about are the ones that get the best response – glad someone else feels the same!

      Good luck on your journey too, and I look forward to reading your posts as well.


      1. Thank you, Sirena! πŸ™‚

        Actually, you might enjoy my posts called “The Alchemical Reaction to Stress” and “Time flies while you’re in the now” on eclectic think tank. If you have a few minutes, check them out. πŸ™‚

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