The Bacon Theorem: My Secret Formula to Eating More Veggies

If you know me IRL (in real life) or from my blog or Facebook posts, than you probably know how much I love bacon.

Bacon. Bacon. BACON!

I even get bacon themed stuff for gifts.  Check out this awesome birthday present I got from my British friend Holly:


I’d eat just about anything if it was wrapped in bacon.  Probably even a Honda.  Bacon wrapped Honda.  Yum.

Unfortunately, I cannot say that I love greens as much as I love bacon.  I personally don’t eat a lot of greens.  I find that the cellulose in most green veggies is rough on my GI tract and makes me bloated and a lil’ gassy.  I have found, however, that kale and spinach seem to work really well with me, and when I do eat my greens it usually involves these ingredients combined with bacon.  Of course.

So when it comes to making veggies, I’ve developed a very simple formula based off the Bacon Theorem (see below) that’s super easy and never disappoints the taste buds.  In case you didn’t know the Bacon Theorem is highly-guarded, anecdotal and non-scientific formula that’s been used by grandmothers and restaurant chefs for centuries.

The Bacon Theorem states that, the nom-nom factor of a dish is exponentially increased 157% with every slice of bacon added.

In this case, we have a version of the Bacon Theorem called the Bacon Veggie Permutation, and it looks like this:

Bacon + Onions + Mushrooms + Veggies = YUMMY

Here above we have: Bacon + onions + baby belle mushrooms + kale.

If you noticed in the formula, I list “veggies” which means you can use whatever the heck you want.  Some veggies you could use in this formula include, but are not limited to:

  • Kale
  • Brussel sprouts
  • Collard greens
  • Mustard greens
  • Bok choy
  • Cabbage
  • Green beans
  • Peas
  • Asparagus
  • Broccoli
  • Cauliflower
The possibilities are endless…well, almost, the possibilities end when we run out of veggies to use.

Anywho, here are the directions for this formula:

1. Cut up 3-4 slices of organic bacon with kitchen scissors into little chunks and cook over medium-high heat in a large skillet.

2. Add in the onion (you could also use shallots and fresh garlic) and the mushrooms.

3. When the onions and mushrooms are cooked, throw in your veggies and sautee for a few minutes.  (You could also use a lid to steam the veggies especially if you’re cooking a green that takes longer to cook like brussel sprouts or cabbage.)

And here’s how you would serve it:

A little baked organic chicken thigh with some butternut squash and brussel sprouts a la The Bacon Theorem.  Simple and yummy.

The Bacon Theorem, and it’s various permutations, have been used to trick nit picky kids to eat their veggies and has prevented bland dinners for generations.  So the next time you’re looking for a way to kick your veggies up a notch, just remember:

Bacon + Onions + Mushrooms + Veggies = YUMMY

And if you’re reading this blog, then chances are we share the same mutual affection for pork bellies.  So, tell me below, your version of the Bacon Thereom.  I’d love to hear all about it.


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