“Stop worrying about shit. You’ll feel better.”
I posted this yesterday on my Facebook and it received a bunch of comments and likes. I for sure thought someone would have left a wiseass remark saying something like, “Well, Sirena, it’s just not that easy.”
And since no one did, I felt that most people agreed with what I was getting at – which was most of us worry waaaaaaaay too much and that worry drags us down.
I was inspired to write the post after an email conversation with a client. She was worried about not doing her morning exercises because of so many other things she had going in her life: she was worried about her job, her relationship, her side-jobs, her blog, etc etc. She was so worried about all these other things, that it was dragging her down.
She seemed a little frazzled about the amount that was on her plate, and on top of that she added that her room was a mess. My advice to her?
Clean your room first.
The 2 Things That We Worry About The Most
From my experience in practice, there are 2 very specific things that I see my clients worry about the most. Perhaps it’s the type of clientele that is attracted to me, and the area I live in that contributes to this, but the 2 areas that I’m talking about are:
Since I mainly work with women between the ages of 27-45, that are usually single, it is no wonder that these 2 things are their biggest stressors. This is not to discredit the working moms that I help, because for them, family is right up there. But for the sake of today’s post we are going to focus on these 2 key aspects, and specifically your job in this first part. We’ll then go over some ways that you can help relieve stress here.
Worrying About Your Job
This is by far, the #1 stressor that I have come across in practice. And having felt the stress from working a “career” I can wholeheartedly commiserate with my clients.
It’s the truth, but the majority of us HATE our jobs. We hate waking up early to an alarm, working late, not having time to cook and spend time with our families. We feel under-appreciated, and overworked, and yet we still feel guilty about finding a new and better job for ourselves. Or even, taking the leap into self-employment.
I cannot give this topic complete justice in just a 2000 word article. That is not my intention. My sole intent is to get you to start thinking, to start feeling and to start asking yourself the right questions.
Talking About Your Job in Spiritual Terms
Career and work stress is predominantly a 1st chakra issue, getting into some aspects of the 3rd chakra as well. You see, the 1st, or root chakra, is tied to our survival. In the animal world, survival is concerned with 4 main things. They’ve been referred to as the “Four F’s of Survival”: Fleeing, Fighting, Feeding, and Fuc….or the physical act of reproducing our species.
However, down the line, when we got all industrial and shit, our career and work quickly began taking over as our form of survival.
We don’t work = we don’t get paid = we don’t eat = we die.
So, by some clever reduction, we’ve put work at the top of the totem pole. And now we believe that:
I don’t work = I die.
Way back when, we didn’t have to worry about jobs. We hunted, slept, gathered, slept, migrated, slept, had sex, had babies, slept, hunted, gathered, and on it goes.
Now, we have this thing called “jobs” that have infiltrated our survival responses to the point where we no longer sleep, we buy our food pre-made, we barely have sex, and we barely raise our own children.
We’ve given our “jobs” so much priority over our lives, that we can no longer even get back to taking care of ourselves. Does anyone else feel we have this backwards?
Why Addressing Your Work Stress Is Uber-Important
The reason why addressing your career work aspect of your life is so important, is because if you don’t, you can’t really progress through your own natural personal and spiritual development.
You will literally be stuck in your 1st chakra, always worried about making money, always worrying about surviving. In your brain, your stuck in the animal part of your brain, or what is considered your reptilian brain.
If we stay stuck in either our 1st chakra or in our reptilian brain we can’t tap into the powers of our higher brains and our higher chakras.
When you are constantly worried about just surviving, that doesn’t leave much room for anything else, like exploring yourself, exploring the world, or even falling in love. When you can’t let go of this survival mode, life is just one big hamster wheel. I talk about this idea of “letting go” here.
So, by letting go of job stress, we make room for cooler things. Things like self-experimentation, self-exploration, personal development, spiritual development, relationships, love, charity work, philanthropy, things that actually put goodness back into humanity.
Snarking at the guy next to you on the T because you’re stressed from your commute to work? Not putting goodness into the world.
Having freedom and joy to do what you love and having the time to help other people? That’s putting goodness into the world.
How To Stop Worrying About Your Job
As a coach, I’ve learned that it’s not always about giving the right answers, but asking the right questions. My job is to help you come to your own conclusions and to help you find the answers that you already have inside you. And that rarely means giving you the answers. You ask me a question, I will most likely, ask you one back.
So, if you are finding that you are worrying and stressing about your job, here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. Why do you work?
This is a serious question. Is it to pay the bills? Is it to get a better job? Is it to find a partner? Is it to buy a house? Climb a ladder? Have a title beside your name?
For instance, an answer to this question could be: “I work so that I can pay the bills”, then write it down.
2. What would you be doing if you did not work?
How close or far apart is this compared to your current job? What can you do to bring the two closer together?
3. What exactly about your job bugs you the most?
Is it the fact that you have to commute an hour each way? Is it your co-workers? Is it your demanding boss? Figuring out exactly what is bothering you will help bring you closer to fixing it.
4. Are there any other positions or companies that you have explored that could use your talents?
If you’re not happy with your job, what are you doing to change or fix that? Have you explored your options with other companies? Or other positions within your company? Have you considered taking courses or certifications to enhance your position and skills?
5. Is it possible for you to take a personal sabitical?
Meaning, can you take a significant amount of time off (months not just days) for you to explore other options? Taking a personal sabitical was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself, and highly recommend at some point in your life.
6. Have you ever considered self-employment?
Self-employment is not for everyone. I’m not one to say that everyone should be their own boss. Having work experience in both mid and upper level management, I’ve come to the conclusion, that self-employment and entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. That’s not to say that you can’t give it a go, or that it isn’t meant for you.
I have met very successful, happy and satisfied people that work for companies, so it is possible. But, if it is something you haven’t thought about yet, perhaps it is worth considering.
7. Is it worth it?
Since most of our waking time is spent working, it’s no wonder that your job and your career can contribute to the majority of your stress.
So, as simple as it sounds, doesn’t it make sense to do something that you actually like? Even if it is not the ideal job that you had originally had in your head? Is the money worth your health? Or your happiness?
Again the point of this blog is just to get you thinking. Just to get you into the mindset that your job has a significant impact on your life, your health and your human development. And in the end, this all ties into how your body looks and feels.
The aim here is to get you to dig deeper inside yourself and ask yourself some questions that no one has probably asked yet. However, if all of this is over your head, just watch this video, and follow the advice TO A T:
(Thank you @ddn for this.)
Photo credit: http://icanread.tumblr.com/page/23
Your article was really good; it spoke to me in many ways. I recently turned 41 and I feel like all my life I’ve worked in the wrong industry. As a kid, I was very shy and did not really like being part of the in crowd or even part of crowds’ period. But of course, nothing in life goes according to what you want! I happen to fall in the sales industry, mostly furniture. I hated doing this as long as I could remember. I admit that I feel like I have a talent for home design but never really believed in myself to take the leap and jump!! , be my own boss, do something great for me. I just recently left my job because I felt that I was going crazy. Depression and mental anguish have taken over my body and mind. The sad thing about this is that it would not be the first time I’ve left a job for similar reasons, lack of passion, major stress, and many nights of taking the bad days at work with me home. I own property together with my partner and that makes things even more difficult because I feel like I can’t let him down. At the same time, I am drowning in my own pain and deception. It’s very difficult for me to just let go of all that inner pain and resentment, of not doing anything else with my life when I was younger. Now I am 41, not that 41 is old but it’s a very tough time for a man or even a woman for that matter. I feel like I am going crazy sometimes cause I just feel like letting go of everything yet, my obligations to my partner of twelve years makes me feel like I have let him down and that makes me feel like a major looser. I wish I was able to just let go of all this pain I feel and just live!!! I know that I need to get better soon or find a solution to this constant pain and anguish that is eating me inside. PS, RM.
LOLOLOL this has me in tears at work!
HAHA! Did you watch the video? It’s amazing!